Welcome to Week Two in our celebration of love!
Of course, love includes a lot more than romantic connections and sexual passion, but I can hardly discuss herbs & love without exploring the many ways that herbs can support us as we express, enjoy, and share our sexuality. Whether you’re single or coupled, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, or deliciously beyond categorization, this post is going to give you some juicy tips on how to bring herbs into the bedroom to enhance your sex life. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Unlock Your Nervous System
Here’s the thing—stimulants and hormonally active herbs are not the place to start when you’re looking for herbal aphrodisiacs. The best approach, as with all herbal medicine, is to start by working to support your body in doing what it already knows how to do. Rather than trying to stimulate your sex drive, the best approach is to get your stress response out of the way. When you do that, the rest of the physical process of arousal tends to take care of itself.
(Please note: I’m only writing about how herbs can help with the biological component of sex. To have a wonderful sex life, it’s well-worth seeking out more resources about sex, love, and relationships. Also, while herbs and healing foods can make a big difference for people with sexual dysfunction that’s rooted in a physical problem, this article focuses on people who are basically healthy.)
You’ve probably heard of the “fight or flight” response by now—yes? It’s a shorthand for what happens when your body encounters stress and the sympathetic branch of your nervous system fires into high gear. It’s no accident that when you’re under stress it’s a lot harder to get in the mood. When you’re in “fight or flight” mode, your body & mind are in a physiological state that’s unconducive to sex. That’s why the most important role that herbs can play in your sex life has nothing to do with hormonal activity or boosting your sex drive. The most important role herbs can play in your sex life is as tools to help you turn off the stress response, moving your nervous system from “fight or flight” mode to “feed and breed” mode.
Here are some herbs & herbal blends that can help flip the switch on your nervous system so you can become more awake to your senses, dilate your pupils, and help you slip into the mood.
Lavender & Peppermint
This is a wonderful tea blend that’s refreshing and relaxing. It’s especially nice to help you shift away from the stress of your workday with the calming influence of lavender while bringing an energizing & refreshing lift from the peppermint. There are no stimulants to keep you up all night—just aromatic bliss to calm you down without putting you to sleep. Use 1/2 TBSP of each herb in 8oz of water.
Lobelia inflata
Lobelia is one of my favorite herbs. It’s a parasympathomimetic, which means that it triggers the “feed and breed” branch of the nervous system. Use small doses until you know how it affects you because in large doses it can be nauseating. Try 1-5 drops in a little water to relax your nervous system and awaken your senses.
Kava kava with Coconut Milk
Kava kava is frequently used as an anti-anxiety herb, but it makes a lovely elixir to help you feel more sensual, as well. Just take a handful of dried kava kava root and place it in a small saucepan with enough coconut milk to cover. Bring the coconut milk to the boil and then immediately drop the temperature down to a low simmer and let cook for about 10 minutes. Add some agave syrup, honey, or sugar as desired.
Once you experience the relaxation of a parasympathetic state, the key is to engage with your senses like we practiced last week. Give your full attention to what you’re experiencing.
Stimulate Your Senses
You may not need (or want) more herbal support once you’ve shifted into a parasympathetic state. From a physical perspective, your nervous system is the key to a rich and satisfying sex life. If you want to play even more with herbal aphrodisiacs, there are two important categories to consider. Circulatory stimulants that help to increase blood flow and aromatic herbs that can add sensory pleasure and evoke memory & emotion.
Circulatory stimulants include warming herbs like ginger, cayenne, and cinnamon. Try chewing on some candied ginger or adding some chili peppers to your dinner. Or, try this tonic that combines a circulatory stimulant with a relaxing herb:
Relax & Awaken Tonic
1 drop Lobelia inflata tincture
1 drop Cayenne pepper tincture
Mix these into a glass of water and sip.
Aromatic herbs to try include vanilla (which is considered the most arousing smell for men), ylang ylang, geranium, and rose.
Next week: Medicinal chocolate and other pleasures!
